Okay...that's not a change due to Honduras, more a thank you California. But over the last few months I have thought about how much I've grown and changed in the past 1-1.5 years. I went from being in a relationship to where I thought I'd be having kids by this time to really taking some time to rediscover myself and some of the things that I possibly want in life. Though I still don't know about either of those sometimes. California definitely helped to shape me and make me a stronger more secure person. It still kind of amazes me when I think about how I've grown since graduating 3 years ago. I look forward to the transformations that Honduras will have on me.
I often think and wonder if I'll ever figure it all out. But do we ever? It seems like everytime I feel like I have my footing the rug gets pulled out from under me. Admittedly...its usually my own doing. I can't seem to stay in one place for too long, but maybe b/c I just haven't found the right place. Or maybe its not just the right time yet.
I have had a few small "Oh my god...what am I doing?!?" freak outs. Minor. 27 months is a long commitment. 4 down...23 to go! Sometimes I get caught up thinking about all the things that I'm missing or will be missing. Basketball, concerts, nice long hikes, The Food Network! Then I started thinking how in a month I'll be living completely alone, which I've never done. I shared a room up until halfway through my sophomore year of college for pete's sake! I've always had somebody else in the house...so it will be a little different completely on my own. I think I may sleep with the lights on the first night or two...haha. I've had a couple of people offer to keep me company that first night and reassure me that I'll get used to it, which I'm sure I will...
Its still a lot of changes and adapting. I feel like I've been in this constant mode of transition for a couple years now...as soon as I do start to settle everything changes. I'm doing good though. Sometimes a little sad...often kinda bored. Just part of readjusting to life in a small town. I'd forgotten what it was like when everyone not only knows your business but will definitely be talking about it too!
If you feel like sending any packages they are more than welcomed! I can always use crafty type supplies like markers, stickers, glitter, beads, etc. American candy is always appreciated...haha. That and a cute card to decorate my walls with or even better is a hand-drawn picture telling me how much you love and miss me! Haha...that's it for the pensive post...see below for a little more of an actual update!
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3 comments:
God bless California! ;) I had the same thing happen, both with ketchup on eggs and the more substantial mental and emotional leaps and bounds. You're at the age where this happens, plus California has a way of transforming people.
Take care of your leg, it looks awful..and I don't want to think about how painful it must have been!
I love the title of this post, and I freaking love you =) Just like Hannah, I hope your leg is doing well. I keep forgetting to ask you about it when we talk on the phone.
I'm looking at a few different tapestries for you. You said brown was a good color right? I found a pretty cool one I think you'll like. I'm gonna email you tonight, I have to stay awake in this class somehow!!
Hey Lenore!
I'm so glad you're enjoying Honduras. Sorry I've been bad at e-mailing you back. I've been busy trying to get use to Cambodia. I can't believe you actually eat eggs and hot sauce now, California definitely rub off on you. I still stand my ground that that is just gross. Manny says hi (he's on the phone with me helping me writing this). We'll talk to you soon!!
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